In August of 2010, I had a short but formative conversation with a woman I met on a layover from Alabama to Massachusetts. I was excited and nervous to start my freshman year of college. I grew up in the Deep South, where Southern hospitality was served with big smiles and open doors. I wanted to know how I should mentally prepare myself for the cold North. The woman I was talking to scoffed. Would I stop holding doors open because I've crossed a state border? People are people, and these stereotypes are too small-minded, she persuaded me.
The take-away message for me was a warning. I was ready to judge a whole group of people so diverse in thought because the people I grew up with defined themselves in relation to the "Other." What's good, ol' Southern hospitality if you can find this hospitality anywhere? But if we distance the positive attributes of our community from the negative characteristics of another (the North in this case), then we can celebrate our heritage (at the price of degrading our neighbor's). By no means am I saying that the South is filled with people who have deep-seated prejudices about the North. This is simply one of the many cases where a community prides itself in opposition to another.
I've come to operate on the belief that what unifies us will always be stronger than what divides us. Our political beliefs, for example, might be fundamentally different, but at the end of the day, we want the best for our family, and we want to be happy. Happiness defies physics. There's no law of conservation of happiness: if I share my happiness with another, I can still be just as happy. So it confuses me when people try to obtain happiness at the expense of others. Why can't we strive for mutual happiness?
On some level we've forgotten who we are. We've forgotten what lies underneath the accents and mannerisms is a humanity dying to share its story in an effort to ease its pain and swell with joy. Our forgetfulness manifests itself in intolerance toward people of different religious beliefs. We are fragmented and unwilling to listen to the story of another fragment as if it were our story.
In the words of the Black Eyed Peas in their song "Where Is The Love?"
"But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate."
We get so caught up in our narrowly defined communities that we forget we belong to a larger community. We forget how to relate when we forget to listen without the judgment reserved for those unlike us.
This summer, I have the opportunity to share my interpretation of Islam with others as they share their faith with me. It's a chance to learn about people through the lens of their beliefs. Some things we'll agree on and others we won't. Entering with respect and a sincere desire to listen without expectations or judgments, I look forward to gaining an understanding of myself and those I wish to serve. I'll update this blog with my thoughts and the revelations my experiences allow me and look forward to reading your thoughts or comments.
The take-away message for me was a warning. I was ready to judge a whole group of people so diverse in thought because the people I grew up with defined themselves in relation to the "Other." What's good, ol' Southern hospitality if you can find this hospitality anywhere? But if we distance the positive attributes of our community from the negative characteristics of another (the North in this case), then we can celebrate our heritage (at the price of degrading our neighbor's). By no means am I saying that the South is filled with people who have deep-seated prejudices about the North. This is simply one of the many cases where a community prides itself in opposition to another.
I've come to operate on the belief that what unifies us will always be stronger than what divides us. Our political beliefs, for example, might be fundamentally different, but at the end of the day, we want the best for our family, and we want to be happy. Happiness defies physics. There's no law of conservation of happiness: if I share my happiness with another, I can still be just as happy. So it confuses me when people try to obtain happiness at the expense of others. Why can't we strive for mutual happiness?
On some level we've forgotten who we are. We've forgotten what lies underneath the accents and mannerisms is a humanity dying to share its story in an effort to ease its pain and swell with joy. Our forgetfulness manifests itself in intolerance toward people of different religious beliefs. We are fragmented and unwilling to listen to the story of another fragment as if it were our story.
In the words of the Black Eyed Peas in their song "Where Is The Love?"
"But if you only have love for your own race
Then you only leave space to discriminate
And to discriminate only generates hate."
We get so caught up in our narrowly defined communities that we forget we belong to a larger community. We forget how to relate when we forget to listen without the judgment reserved for those unlike us.
This summer, I have the opportunity to share my interpretation of Islam with others as they share their faith with me. It's a chance to learn about people through the lens of their beliefs. Some things we'll agree on and others we won't. Entering with respect and a sincere desire to listen without expectations or judgments, I look forward to gaining an understanding of myself and those I wish to serve. I'll update this blog with my thoughts and the revelations my experiences allow me and look forward to reading your thoughts or comments.
